9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
