just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
