You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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