No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
