whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
