Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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