I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
