If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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