Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
