Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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