the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
