It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
