my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
