I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
