just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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