Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
