I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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