TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
