Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
