Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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