...so i touched it.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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