Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
