So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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