We're facebook friends in real life
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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