she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
