"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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