I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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