the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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