Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
