dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
