Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
