Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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