my sisters under your porch take her home
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
