smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
