you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
