I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
