my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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