So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
