You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My sheets look like a crime scene.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
