She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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