Pappa wants mamma naked
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
