he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
