normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
