Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
