Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
