I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Randomize
