for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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