it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
