Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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