you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
