Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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