My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
