Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
