Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
