That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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