I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
should my penis look like a turkey
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
