ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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