And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
