I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
